Peer Edit- Feature Article

JESSICA KARAM

1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
I want to hear more about what Nada actually did in her struggle to lose weight. I feel like I didn't get enough of that.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
I wish that you had one of her friend's views on how she did. Yes.

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes. Nada losing wieght through her new year's resolution.

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I wanted to hear more about Nada. The new years thing was good, but I think the real focus should have been on her.

ANDREW PETERS

1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
Um, Not sure. This story wasn't what it was supposed to be.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
None that I can see. Sort of.

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Well, yes. The economic crisis.

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I would suggest that you write this from a perspective. I didn't see how this was a feature story; it seemed like a soft news story. Also, the spelling was kind of bad.